Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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