I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have post one night stand depression
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