She's JV to your varsity
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
