I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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