i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
