Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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