ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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