I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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