i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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