Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
