So drunk its hurt
My friends, they love my intelligence
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
