You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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