Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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