she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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