there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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