wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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