I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This is my gift to your gina
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
