it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
