When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
