told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
