i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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