remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
