Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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