the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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