i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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