she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
