All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
