i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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