Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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