Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
