two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
