just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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