I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
