Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
