You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
