What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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