I want to walk on stilts...naked
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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