How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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