mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
