Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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