first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize