Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
