He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
