the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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