I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
