Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Can I color on your dick again?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
