I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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