I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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