I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?