So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.