Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
