69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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