how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
