dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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