god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think I just sharted jello shots
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
