sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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