I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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