The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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