Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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