listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
