dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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