He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
