if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
