FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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