oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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