I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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