Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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