I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
